saunas are so bad dkfvjnfjdjdf #FuckSaunas

got suspended from my second account lads so uh im tweeting from this one now

betsy is ready for the cold winter ahead!

mary left a pair of heels at my place and i confess ive been strutting around in them lip syncing to london bridge

i ain't always eatin' eggs, but when i do, it's shell on. love em' nice n' crunchy, reminds me of the good ol days.

you: bobby pins me, an intellectual: Robert Clasps

i think i saw the dover ghost last night or maybe it was craig or a deer. full disclosure i was disassociating

i should prolly get a "legal job"

just makin dinner

americans be eating cheesed burger.

i wanna go play crazy golf *under my breath* so i can re-enact bet on it from high school musical

i mean were all thinking it. im totally hotter than zac efron

u cant spell valid without val

am i................. gregnant

i always thought the song went "i guess it rains down in africa" and i was like damn i guess it do

as christmas month draws near now is as good time as any to remind people that if u dont own at least 1 ugly tacky christmas sweater ur NOTHIGN to me

me: i would die for you, do you hear me? i would DIE for you. betsy, eating my fuckgign crocs: rowrf

It is... GIVE-AWAY TIME !!! 🌟 RT for a chance to win your own embroidered whale wave jacket! Give-away ends in 48 hours! 🐋 This is international!

merry crisis

whose dick do i have to suck to suck some dick around here