Ski school: JUST DO WITH YOUR BODY EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING WITH MY BODY

Waging a war against cardboard boxes

Suggestion for the NATO Phonetic Alphabet: “P as in Potato”

Always read the docs. The author wanted to write them much less than you want to read them

We need a stop.lying.snow for ski resorts. Ref: stop.lying.cloud

Imma just noun boi imma just tryna verb noun

Yellow icicles. Never good. Never good

eceived incredibly sharp kitchen knife for Christmas. Box of band aids not included

How to get rid of an old mattress? Can I chop it up into little pieces and slowly throw it in the trash Shawshank Redemption style?

There’s always someone with a better mustache

After you die you get access to a time car to go and explore what actually happened

“Squeegee Fork” returned no results that were fork-like and had a side squeegee. Might be on to something here

Inflation protesters are keying cars, scratching windows, and writing on buildings. They’re marking things up.

So far my favorite response when strangers ask for my dog’s names: “taco” and “hot-pocket”

There is a squash. Where if you heat it. Will turn into spaghetti.

Getting a handle on these sports

Thank god Slack doesn’t have read receipts

If you ever think “I can disassemble and reassemble this pullout couch”. Don’t just don’t