literally just trying to watch a found footage horror movie by myself but i’m sure my neighbours think it sounds like i’m filming a snuff film over here.

bittersweet home affairs

i send crazy texts while drinking my morning coffee the way that people send drunk texts

just found a stack of condoms in the bag my brother let me borrow time to gouge my eyes out with a spoon

having friends with actual jobs is so weird i’ll be like ‘i had to cut like 20 onions today’ and they’re like ‘i forgot to finish the quarterly report presentation for the ceo of fortune 500 company.’ like okay????? is that a real job????

Hey, there’s a hip new wine bar in New York City. It’s open on Sundays, comes with “small bites,” and you just might learn a thing or two there. Sound interesting? It’s called church…

i can always tell when someone journals in an inauthentic way. scrap journals……ok receipt paper poisoning

coworker just asked me if i was high when we got to work 🤨why would you ask me that? (i smoked a joint 10m from the front door)

What if Jesus was Purple?

Guys delete Talking Angela. Now. There is a man spying on you through her eye. If you look closely you will see the reflection of a person

Cigarette summer has now reached the Vatican

sometimes when i’m too lazy to go get snacks from my kitchen i just google what i want to eat and look at the pictures

i drink lemon water every morning to preserve my youth because i started developing gout symptoms<3 btw im 26

I like to imagine there was a Nazca child who would refuse to eat their mashed cassava unless it was served in the mice bowl

sucking on my weed vape in the back row of the 740 screening of weapons at cinestarz cote des neiges

that is NOT the real kevin o’leary……..

She is so fucking brave I can't stop crying