Man if you think our support is bad, have you tried reaching someone at Walmart Seller Support?

Here at Amazon we pride ourselves with launching products which make 50% of Sellers happy. We accept that we can’t please everyone so we just do our best to screw the remaining 50%.

How can our team apply for these funds?

Ummm why are we still at $1.5 per hour?

Our warning emails help thousands of sellers jump out of bed in the morning. We’re incredibly proud of that.

I love talking to sellers!

Meh we do it better

I’m learning a lot from SMB Twitter. They taught me to do something called “side hustle”. So now I make $1.50 per hour pretending to help sellers during the day and I make $150 an hour actually helping sellers at night. Next up is to buy my Tesla coin.

We are here for you and here to not not not help you.

Ah yes we love “teaming up” with brands. Tile as part of the partnership, please send your list of suppliers and associated costs. This is purely for customer trust.

We are so excited for Amazon Prime Day! As a special offer to all sellers, we are forcefully giving everyone a 25% discount on the amount of storage they are allowed to have! Happy Prime Day!