Two questions; How are we going to eat, and what floor’s the restaurant on? The answer is “The Chinese Way” and Level 42...

Hello, is that Currys? I’d like to make an enquiry about two supplementary auxiliary speakers to go with my midi hi-fi system.

I'm certain Ben Fogle is one of those posh queers he certainly sounds like he has a mouthful of something

God give me strength please don't play this shite on the radio x.com/diymagazine/st…

From the boy who ruined Sainsbury's dishes for me. Don't bother #TheCorrianderKid x.com/jamieoliver/st…

👏🏻 x.com/dawnrankin/sta…

Absolutely disgusting whoever did this should have their hands cut off x.com/hulldailymail/…

Try getting your eyes tested 0/10 Not Tesco labelling to blame. x.com/_aillingworth/…

This man nick_clegg has spouted bilge throughout his career. Voters soon worked him out #traitor x.com/ask_des/status…

Stick your book where the sun doesn't shine. Brexit IS happening so get over it and move your sad little life on! x.com/nick_clegg/sta…

The Kinks never made a decent song #shite

Lol x.com/reesmoggblogs/…

I’m voting for Walkers Smoky Bacon! #chooseorlose cards.twitter.com/cards/18ce53w4…

Unfortunately, time has no respect for your plans.

Never mind, there's always the crisp adverts x.com/garylineker/st…