much respect to the guy at the pharmacy drop off that just slammed down his prescription and shouted LORAZEPAM like he was ordering a beer at a bar

not to be controversial but the person who invented auto play and the person who decided every streaming app needs their own custom sound upon opening should be shot into outer space

Hot beverage acting season is peaking right now. That empty to go coffee cup is actually piping hot and filled to the brim. Sip sip sip. Ahh.

everyone drop your favorite passwords

they should make a headache medicine that works

take my money

being a flight attendant is crazy; where else but the sky could you apply the skills of a waitress, hostess, announcer, actor and garbage man in one job

love to half ass a new hobby

have you heard of this dish known as “chicken Caesar salad”, wow! tried it today for the first time can’t recommend enough.

I asked my husband if he’s ever seen the movie girl interrupted and he said yes I think so, Cristina Aguilera is in that right? and began to describe Cristina Aguilera in the moulin rouge music video from 2001

FINALLY

my neighbors barbecue seems to have evolved in the shimmer

forgot how to breathe again

realizing it’s my destiny to hot glue gun a bunch of sea shells I’ve collected onto a 4x6 wooden frame

trying to brush your toddlers teeth should be an olympic sport

why was I lactose intolerant in my dream last night

crazy that one day you can wake up to find out your husband has been catching flies and feeding them to a spider living in the basement

trick or treated to a house tonight that was giving out hot dogs

when you draw a spiral do you start from the inside or outside

the results have humbled me; a person who starts their spirals from the outside