The year is 1863. The postman delivers a letter, your heart jumping when you see the Union Army seal—news of your husband, from the front lines? Trembling, you read. Its from former President James Buchanan. “Hi. Here are my favorite songs: 1. Yankee Doodle Dandy 2. Yankee Doo

ah, the humble grenade. merely the size of an apple – but nearly twice as destructive

nice try, morons newyorker.com/humor/shouts-m…

finishing 2nd against katie ledecky and looking up to see she’s put on a huge flowing white beard as a bit. devestating

He gave the monologue a good shot

listen up it is time to remember the alphabet mcsweeneys.net/articles/how-t…

Seriously!

Springboks' 10-player team overhaul no disrespect says 32-test Wallaby apnews.com/article/austra…

Sean’s Eel Fact of the Day: Sigmund Freud kept trying to find eel testicles but he couldn’t and he got so mad that he decided to invent therapy. This has been Sean’s Eel Fact of the Day. You may now turn off your cell phone.

Modern-Day Magellan Discovers New Dining Options By Zooming In A Little On Google Maps theonion.com/modern-day-mag…

fellas you ever get so horny you invent tgi fridays

creating desire paths in the corn maze with my car

Awesome: Panera Bread Has Launched A Patreon For Fans To Support Its Soups And Salads clickhole.com/awesome-panera…

CLICK-IT LINE: We ask that you not cross our digital picket line by playing any of the NYT Games (Wordle, Connections) as well as not using the Cooking App. You can continue to read @Nytimes news content.

really interesting to look at this today. seems like a lot of these states are rectangles—and ohio is the same shape it was last year

All the takes are correct and yet they also miss the point. Yes, it was insane for the Democrats to think they could win by running a soulless candidate, without a shred of progressive policy vision, pursuing endorsements from neocon war-hawks everybody hates, while arming and

Via our parent company Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce P. Tetraeder: theonion.com/heres-why-i-de…

made a little word puzzle. you’re a terrible mailman who commits mail fraud to figure out which apartments get which letters. enjoy!

Interesting: Heinz.com Is Claiming That They Are Only Collecting Visitor Data To Put On A Hard Drive That They Use To Crush Tomatoes clickhole.com/interesting-he…