Hey man. I saw your instagram story about how you’re at the beach. I was hoping you could delete it? I’m at work and it upsets me

Lea Michele in response to allegations of her being illiterate Lea: “I’ve read nothing about that.”

Mayyas' performance is breathtaking. #AGT x.com/AGT/status/156…

“You know what, Jeff…” 👑 #Survivor

Me when someone finishes explaining the rules of a board game

Happy 2 year anniversary to when I was sleep deprived and decided to post this at 2 am on New Year’s Day

Backyard Brawl. Night game. Sweet Caroline. Perfection. Great job everyone — pretty sure this one registered on the Richter scale. 👏 👏 #WVU #HailWV #ESP

I put up with the fart & snot competitions I put up with the nether gorgon & humili-week & that announcer guy yelling at me I put up with a Jag, Matt & Bowie Jane final 3 I even put up with a winner who was voted out unanimously But Cameron winning AFP over Cirie I'm out #BB25

I always feel awful for the elves. You took the job 80 years ago to make some whimsical rocking horses, 4 parts tops. And now you're soldering an iPad motherboard with your arthritic, cinnamon-scented hands. A brutal gig.

and then Erik said “I would like to give individual immunity to Natalie”

How it feels to hear “sorry, we don’t serve Miller Lite here”

justin bieber didn’t come out #halftimeshow

Why is Tim writing “CAR” in the sand? #survivor46

Wife: are you really gonna get drunk and embarrass me in the blue lot again? Me:

Parvati & Cirie, my Survivor top 2 😍

used to pray for times like this #SurvivorAU