Even though being from Westchester is a mental illness we still love them

fans are so obnoxious

I can’t stop telling people I had a nose job (but I didn’t)

“Can you use pedantic in a sentence” “You don’t fucking know what pedantic means?”

“Why does your dog smell like santal 33?”

I don’t care what anyone else says, I like your shirt

reminiscing about the time my 5th grade teacher would come in some days pretending to be a substitute and would Ms. Nelson Is Missing Us and then gaslight us the next day and pretend it wasn’t her

didn’t realize everyone and their mother had a significant-other until I saw all the v-day posts … we see you, we hear you … stop

“Everyone is just doing their best” okay well I’m not

overheard at Cornell: “She may not be the next Thoreau but she is a woman”

I can feel it…I’m one pair of shoes away from inner peace. Ok well maybe two to be safe

“I look like a Gucci model” “No you look like you’re arriving at Ellis Island”

I knew Peloton was going through a rough patch but I didn’t know they downsized this much

I like my egg yolks medium rare no further questions

sometimes I just like to reference the time I lived in a banana farm in Thailand for 3 years just to see if they’re paying enough attention to tell that I’m lying

I just opened up my hinge down to 5’ 8”

moms LOVE saying “20 years ago…”

Jon Kung In my experience, starting to write is fun, finishing is exciting, and the middle part can feel like you’re not making any progress. But if you keep writing, bit by bit, you end up making it through to the fun part again.