My name is Spam Risk.
I interrupt with bullshit.
Don't pick up the phone.
#haiku

Tuna shaming is one of the worst kinds of shaming.

No, YOU walked right past a four foot tall directional sign that said to go in the other entrance and had to be schooled by a condescending security guard. Ha ha you’re so silly.

Bub’s legacy is immortal. Unless it’s supposed to say Bob. Never mind. I took a pic yesterday. I don’t know why.

Here. You’re welcome.

If all else fails, assume that they meant it and respond accordingly.

Any story which ends with, 'Bitch, I am the manager!' is a good story.

Substituting the word “panini” for “pandemic” looks clever enough at first but most of us would rather talk about sandwiches so really it’s your own fault, Sharon.

It's crazy that Teen Wolf is now 56-Year-Old Wolf and whatnot. Someone make 56-Year-Old Wolf. I'll play the wacky neighbor who runs up and says, 'Stop turnin' into a wolf, you're too old for that shit!'

hiiiiiiiii

Well, at least I gave Spam Risk a hearty belly laugh before he hung up on me. That's something, anyhow.

If I had 'Watch a garbage truck make a U-turn at speed in traffic' on my bucket list then I'd be so stoked right now.

Whenever I see a lone shoe on the road I figure someone’s foot has been raptured

Ex-friend, “someone I used to know”, whatever you want to call it, I’ll be glad when I stop remembering their birthdays.

let your forsythia run wild

Sorry the animated pop up ads were more distracting than your site was interesting. Better luck next time.

I want the confidence of the person who runs a stop sign then magnanimously gestures for you to go ahead even though you had right of way and were already halfway through the intersection.

You know the trope about a smile brightening everyone's day? Well, that cashier had the opposite effect on all the people in this line.

The last dog..🐕🐾😅

The Amazon delivery person was so gracious, if only they gave me a way to tell them that.