Having the girlies over for Lizard Time™️ We will be laying on a hot surface in the sun.

americans r such masochists it’s actually so scary like ur AGAINST a 4 day work week bc u think people should WANT to work MORE?? ur AGAINST being able to go to the doctor for free??? ur AGAINST being paid livable wages so u don’t have to work until u die??? WHAT !!!!!

Accountability wants uppies and your boyfriend is an absent parent

Amish market pretzels are like drunk cigs- they dont count

Trying to convince my boyfriend that we should both legally change our names to Steven Stevens and also get mullets

Metal shows are fun because i like seeing the boys skip in a little circle together :)

Thinking about her. gn

He may have gotten most of the cooking utensils and gadgets but I got the autograph copy of The Room script so who’s the real winner

The fact that people have flattened Ghibli movies into "cozy vibes" is so disappointing to me. Ghibli movies are, many things of course, but they're also violent, political, sad, hard, about family, loss, friendship, conflict, war, the environment, depression, grief

I don’t have penis envy, I would just really like the opportunity to nut in my boyfriend.

I want another motorcycle so badly, it’s consuming my thoughts and my targeted adds

I want to parent trap taylor swist and owl city

“I like being passenger princess, it makes me wanna pop my pussy for you” -my boyfriend

When people make their Jeeps look angry, it always feels like a real Iron Giant “what if a gun doesn’t want to be a gun” situation and I inherently think less of them for it