Wrapper's Delight #MakeASandwichSing

#MineIsTheHouseOf neurospicy

Pandora's box #IsNotLikeABoxOfChocolates. SO NOT OPEN IT.

#ThereIsA99PercentChance that a a bitch is not one of my 99 problems

Stash it all over your house and forget, like a squirrel in winter #TipsToSaveMoney

Killing Me Souffle With His Song #SongsAboutEggs

O lawd he comin! Whoops. I read the tag wrong. #ChuckyOnTheLoose

I told you we needed a stronger playpen! #ChuckyOnTheLoose

The Mighty Odd Ducks #MakeAMovieWEIRD

The Curiouser and Curiouser Case of Benjamin Button #MakeAMovieWEIRD

Eight $1 scratch tickets. At least you have some chance of getting money back. #BetterUsesOf8Dollars

At that first post-Taco Bell gurgle #TimesToTrustYourGut

Bodies are meant to expel hot air, be it belches, farts, or opinions. It's not healthy to keep them bottled up. #WhyICantBeSilent

Because the squeaky wheel gets the worm or whatever #WhyICantBeSilent

Welp...Imma head out. #SayGoodbyeIn4Words

First order of business is getting an edit button #IfIWereToTakeOverTwitter

Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles broke up? My faith in salad dressing is SHATTERED.

I don't have a beach body, but I have a killer 'lurking in the deep dark bottom of the ocean' figure.

The Met Gala is what you get when you put Art Club in charge of the prom theme.

*approaches queer couple* So...which of you is the Barbie and which is the Oppenheimer?