The issue with accounting is still no good. The scorpions in the accountants' pockets is becoming a real issue.Might have to lose the pants.

I really needed to be better prepared for the extra intake of souls. Sheesh. #Understaffed #BiggestLessonLearnedFrom911

Hell is on red alert status. Temptation efforts on Scarlett Johansson must be doubled, nay TRIPLED! We MUST have the owner of that bum!

Twitter recommends that I follow Subway sandwich shoppe. Note to self: Get Subway to change tagline to "Eat Flesh."

@Laxzyy Cyrus Tha Virus 👑🦏 Let's stop thinking of them as "problems" and start thinking of them as "sinful opportunities".

Ooooooo! I'm reserving a special place in Hell's elite country club for my 666th follower! I know. I'm pretty benevolent.

Yes, yes...#DeflateGate is my doing. I admit it. I'll be taking that soul now, Pete Carrol.

Puppies, laughing babies, sunny days under 75 degrees....#ILostSleepBecause

Hot, toasty weather down here. #MyJanuaryIn5Words

Ungh...someone swapped my whole milk for almond milk. Hell is such a torture. #underworldproblems

Suge Knight, I know evil...and you scare the hell outta me.

Anything BUT torturing Hitler, Robespierre, and Caligula. Maybe a nice bike ride. #OnMyDayOff

I saw the new trailer. This show isn't what I though it was going to be about. #Disappointed #daredevil

Ah. More dead babies. Who needs me when there are #AntiVaccination parents spreading measles?

Aw! Someone did a sand sculpture of me!

I let Elizabeth Berkley out of hell for one day to do some skit on Fallon's show, and she doesn't come home at curfew. #SavedByTheBell

If there's a "heavens no" and a 'hell yea" why isn't there a "purgatory perhaps"?

Unnnnngh. Someone forgot to clean the Hell Pool.