Peep S'Mores. No other words necessary. #peepsmores

Kill those goats.

Kill the freaking goats already. Throw a rock for the live of God

Baaaaaaaaa!

Hunger games commence

Hit the goat with the pipe for crying out loud!

Yubba Dubba doo!

Where the hell is he going?

So Malala's "too young" to get the Nobel? How old do the judges have to be before they develop the courage to face down the Taliban?

Republican'ts lol

@sasqsnthecity: I'm entering to win a trip to The Voice finale!

Cat

#VoiceSave cat

I joked in my recent column about a $1.19 humor column access fee and look what happened! Love my readers!

My site [rubyportband.com] must be in the Wix TV ad 'cuz we're a bunch of old hippies jammin' 1 more time_____________ #ShowOffOnline

My column today was written while celebrating unseasonably warm weather and we get sub zero temps.Maybe I should write to celebrate winter.

The chocolatiers are mad at me for Thursday's column. #nochocolateforYOU #nomoreraspberrycreams

Eight or ten inches of snow and New York and Boston shut down. Pansies.

Maybe we should buy the groundhog a gift card to El Canelo. Read today's column: Groundhog Bribery!

3 x F = Algebra is stupid. Read about it in my column today!