When someone yells stop, I don't know if it's in the name of love, it's hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

The problem with reality is there's no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious or evil is about to happen.

You don't like my attitude? Well i don't like your face.

If they really wanted you to have a "Happy Period", they'd make tampons that vibrate.

When people don't laugh at my jokes I just assume that they're not up to my level of comedy.