So yesterday I was informed by the 5 year old kid I babysit, that cows make milk, from their penis. 🤔 #themoreyouknow

My favorite thing about working for retail is the customers who believe that every associate in the store is there open-close every day ☺️

Flyleaf COVID 🤝 I can feel you all around me

Facebook blocked me from doing anything because I “posted too much” in a short amount of time? Fine, I just won’t use that platform ever again ☺️👍🏽

I ain’t mad about how much $ I made tonight in tips. Considering it was my first night serving in forever. 🤘🏽

January 2022 said fuck y’all I’mma make it cold

Me: “Don’t touch my ‘gorilla pussy’” John: ??? Me: “ok I totally meant ‘gorilla grip’….”

I DEMAND BETTER CELL SERVICE IN FORT WORTH HOLY SHIT DUDE

My 7 (almost 8) year old bulldog, Zeus, has always slept with his butt facing towards my face. He has also always farted at least 50 times a night. It’s great.

Damn watch told me to stand for ONE MINUTE and I’d close my ring. Here I am, 10 minutes later….

Y’all it’s annoying how my dance videos get muted because of copyright like I’m literally dancing and potentially driving people to listen to the song I’m dancing to. How is that an issue?????

Anyone ever get in deep thought and think about how not only are you getting older but your parents are too…. Yeah… not a fan

People make fun of my laugh on the daily and I’m like ??? That’s literally one of my biggest insecurities so thx ☺️

This whole two factor verification shit has got to fucking go. I shouldn’t have to send a code to my damn iPad to log into my gmail account wtf

In the most disrespectful way possible, if you think that any of what is happening today is okay, remove yourself from my life. Completely. This is absolutely disgusting.

Petition to get Chachi Hildén to dance to some of her old choreography starting with one of my personal favorites, “Brraaattt” by Nicki Minaj

Hi everyone I’m Sammy and my special talent is that I can throw any shirt on in the dark and it’ll always be inside out AND backwards 😃

Anyone got extra floor tix to #robzombie???