When cooking pasta which do you choose

PARKOUR

What do you mean we “lost” an hour of sleep? FIND IT

*my hands shaking pouring a drink* 40 yr old customer: "there's nothing I love more than a cute girl with nerve damage"

My dream date: go to the bowling alley and just play that quarter machine all night

Lookin for the type of guy that can win stuffed animals in the claw machines for me

Will Smiths never before seen cameo in everybody hates Chris

I'm about to hunt down whoever created today's wordle😤😤😤

So happy with life right now it has me questioning if I'm manic

What do you guys want to eat I've got bacardi and jurassic park on snes

Why am I excited by the thought to be in a nursing home with all my friends

My mind just can’t comprehend the process of how bridges are built

The only sweet texts I get are from sonic saying they have 1/2 shakes and I can not complain

about to say some shit that gets me put on a federal watchlist

4 slipped discs & a sacrum out of place later, it’s safe to say parkour is dangerous folks #parentalguidancesuggested

The caption was “I’ve been telling them for weeks that if they don’t behave the grinch will come” LMAOOO

Me cooking pasta just for one: