My mom’s Christmas gift finally arrived. She loves it.

My mom just yelled at a random girl in target asking why she was looking at tubs because she thought it was me. The girl is fine, she laughed when she realized what happened.

Apparently nothing can be kept secret in my family. 🙃

Today a parent told me I look even younger in person than I do over Google Meet.

The pettiness lives on.

When the coffee truck you love, loves you back. ❤️❤️❤️

“It’s like a freakin whack a mole.” “I tickled that man’s hair.” sam ficco fan club during the Kings Kaleidoscope concert.

I finally went to the dentist after 9 years (like, Barack Obama was president the last time I went). Ya girl had 0 cavities and the hygienist said I had “minimal build up considering how long it’s been.” So yeah, brush your teeth and actually floss every day, kids.

Gonna play “what can I get away with as a 28 year old on family vacation” over the next week. Stay tuned.

Dad: See, when God sees you need a man, he’ll send one your way. Me: That’s the thing though, he knows I don’t NEED one.

Mom: WHAT THE HECK SAMANTHA, do I need to say that I’ll buy you Jonas Brothers tickets if you go out with this guy? Me: wait, will you really? Mom: yes, omg.

When you talk to someone for a few months and then get ghosted… Can you tell I’m over it? Just be honest. 🙃

It’s October 28. 😏

From now on, when people ask what my “type” is, I’m just going to show them this L.L.Bean model.