There’s an adult man (like definitely 35+) kicking his backpack along the floor in the security queue at Frankfurt airport. His girlfriend just tripped over the strap as he gigged and I’ve just never ever been more grateful to be single

Thinking of starting a “People Who Got Engaged Before Me” twitter. Millie Bobby Brown feels egregious enough to be funny

Thinking of Venmo requesting my ex for ruining good songs by being associated with them

Hinge needs to add a Share Profile button. The group chat needs to know

Another EXCELLENT trip on americanair! We’re not allowed to get off the plane 🤘We’re waiting for a different crew to land to replace the crew on this plane that has “timed out”. Totally fair, reasonable hours are important! I have also timed out, please release the hostages!

Today I was driving with the windows down, in a cute bikini on the way to my sister’s neighborhood pool, blasting Fall Out Boy and thought GOOD GOD I’d immediately fall in love with myself if I saw me. So this will be my main character summer and I won’t be taking any questions

The wildest thing I’ve learned from TikTok is that there are people out here spending money on paper or styrofoam plates! To use AT HOME! In this economy? In THIS environment? Delete your account

Brands are so close to getting it. We love to see diverse bodies in your clothes, but a size 0 and a perfect hourglass size 18 isn’t the diversity you think it is.

Super annoying that confidence actually IS sexy

Hashtags are actually so embarrassing

You ever wanna have a nice time with your family and then you can’t because of who everyone is fundamentally?

How is sex education still SO GOOD

It’s funny, when I picture myself ending up with a man, I feel pretty sure I won’t have kids. But then I imagine ending up with a woman and know with near certainty that I’d have a kid and likely be the one to carry it. Bisexuality is a real rollercoaster

Can’t believe humans created and developed the vastness of the internet and we’re using it for emails.

I wish I could give a speech about every single person I love

Listening to couples talk in the airport makes me even more deeply grateful to be single 😘