Eddie Betts. The best small forward to ever play the game. And the best bloke to ever forward the game 🖤💛❤️

Just got 1st #pfizer jab at Melbourne Showgrounds, took 2 hours. I should’ve swapped to #AZ because the line for that was what I imagine having the fast-track ticket at a theme park would feel like #empty #GetJabbedYaGoose 💉 #GetVaccinatedNow 💉

I wasn't too keen to share this tweet, as I didn't want your mind going where mine went... #TheJaseFiles 🕵️

I'm going to start appreciating the finer things in life. Like when Outlook reminds you to attach your attachment. Thanks Microsoft Outlook you sxc beast❤️

🥳 Happy 40th Labrat 🥳 You couldn't go to Vegas and you couldn't go to Thailand. Not because of Covid, but because you are genuinely too old 🕵️ #TheJaseFiles

fantasdick stuff Tony Armstrong

Earthquake in Melbourne - how good is the ending of the world?!

I’m crying #AFLGF

The oldest AFL team with the longest active premiership drought… wins a flag in Perth #irony

PJ resigns, then Gladys resigns #conspiracy 👀

Are you a nurse in Melbourne? We'd love to speak with you about the strain on ED due to growing covid patients.

A bird just flew inside the house and it was genuinely the most thrilling 5 minutes of my life this year. #cherishthesemoments 🐦

A very exciting morning! Got my vaccine certificate on the Service Victoria app. The Australian Coat of Arms is a flashy hologram and it will be my main source of entertainment till lockdown ends.

So you can now take 20 friends to a pub in Sydney... JOKES ON SYDNEY, I DON'T EVEN HAVE 20 FRIENDS #HAHA #IDIOTS #ILOVEMELBOURNE

Can't wait to win a Lambo #cryptolife coinspot.com.au/2-million-cust… #WenLambo #CoinSpotLambo

I love my Uncle Tobys but what’s going on with the famous Fruity Bites?! I did some thorough investigating and it looks like they’re forgetting the fruit 😢 #cerealspiracy

Do you know a hairdresser opening at midnight tonight?! DM me, would love to get them on da radio for a yarn. Cheers! 💇‍♀️💇💇‍♂️ #Melbourne #VictoryDay #COVID19Aus #LetsGoAndrews

If this doesn't melt your heart, I don't know what will #CleoSmith

#giddyup 🐎

I have more chance of winning the lotto than I do arriving at a McDonald’s when their frozen Fanta machine is working 😢