something about being alive is so embarrassing

hey can you make sure to get some garlic for me at the store today? also some wooden stakes and holy water thanks

i’m soft and sweet and evil and nice and kind

maybe in another universe i have a cozy life in the shire

don’t talk to me until i’ve had at least three little beverages and maybe a treat or two

art by Margaret Tempest

we’re all sleeping in today

i just feel like i could cry over anything and everything

sorry for being so mean the lights were too bright

my main purpose in life is haunting you

this is how your email finds me

i’m so tired i was up making crop circles all night

today i’m going to crawl my way out of the darkness

i’m quitting my job to focus on being more whimsical