Then you’d just be missing two gift for the five Christmas’s I’ve missed. I’ll let you make it up with a flat screen smart TV so I can use the subscriptions... and also a home so I can install that TV in.

“The question is, why were you sucking on a dildo strapped to yourself that belongs to Tony?” She just dug herself into a deeper hole tbh.

Cuts the straw~

You can save the world but not the turtles?! Don’t use plastic straws.

Bucky grimaces slightly. “Deflecting my question with another. There’s something you don’t want me to know.“

“Yeah, I know.” HE KNOWS HE’S CONTRADICTING WHAT HE JUST SAID WE GET IT

“So are you gonna share or what?”

T H I S is why you (we?) weren’t given the shield and Sam was! THIS! IS! THE! REASON!

“I didn’t... but now I do.” Did he just outsmart a genius?! That alone should earn him what he’s asking for.

“I expect nothing less but Egyptian cotton sheets at the Avenger’s HQ.” He’s joking... but by the way he delivered his sentence he seemed entirely serious. He just wanted to figure out how much was too much tbh.

Bucky’s brows crease slightly, curious to know what Tony was referring to when stating ‘it ended terribly’. Even though he doesn’t expect an explanation he holds quiet for a moment too long, wondering if Tony — who usually can’t keep his mouth shut — would fill the silence.

That’s a complicated question with an even more complex answer. “And a Coffee Machine” If Tony agrees to that too the next thing Bucky is asking for is his own Iron Man-like suit dude. Jk. Jk. ... unless.... >.>

I’ve been lugging around a M249 SAW rifle all day. They’re heavy. I deserve a full body massage.