Not me geeking to my husband about this record and the color and the hand written lyrics on the inside and it being a limited edition out of 200

My grandpa was jumping out of a plane to kill nazis at my age and I just had a mild panic attack trying to login to TurboTax

Unfortunately I just say the letters l a m o which isnt even correct

Anyone Fucking tired of figuring out what to make for dinner? This might be the worst part of being an adult for real no one warned me about this

controversial but I’d much rather work a 7-3 than a 9-5

Stop ruining food with SCALLIONS!!!!!!!! 🤬

Jeff Bezos spent $5.5 billion to go to space. The U.S. population is 327 million. He could have given each American $1 billion and still have money left over. I feel like a $1 billion check would be life-changing for most people. Yet he wasted it to go to space.

Not me listening to better days by Dermot Kennedy, imagining how insane it’ll sound at red rocks, and maybe shedding a tear.

“why have an abortion when you can put the baby up for adoption?” *gay couple adopts* “not like that”

Don’t invite me to yo crib if yo couch peeling because imma peel it some more when you not looking

What if we just took the rest of the year off after Thankgiving tho

How freaking cute is my brother. 😭 Lin-Manuel Miranda

Of course the universe would make my least favorite ex boyfriend the FedEx driver that has deliveries to my house 🙃