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there are three sides to every story: yours, mine, and taylor's version

If ur doc doesn’t start with a prayer circle before a concert on an arena tour then gtfo

very few soccer balls actually look like that

dream blunt rotation

i miss yesterday when i had an article come out. now it’s like ok so you don’t even have an article out today…?

when someone’s on the phone it’s like what are you talking about

Unless we can put on the best talent show this town has ever seen

lmaoooo im gonna put all my crops in one place depleting the soil's nutrients like i’m literally about to monocrop lmaoooo fml lol

As if this year could get any worse I just met a dog named amanda

Happy October 11 to all who celebrate 💓🎇

if a fat person appears in a movie and isn't eating food or talking about food it passes the bechamel test

are you prepared to say that with your hand on a stack of INTERPRETIVE DANCE QUARTERLIES?

she was an NFT

never not thinking about this

one of my dreams is to yell “everyone make some noise” and everyone makes some noise

Truth or a dare? Dare. I dare you to cuddle with newt gingrich

Two seconds away from changing my handle to ladydelfiggalo

just got done playing