always crazy to see someone on app say they fight the sunday scaries by disassociating or that a fun fact they love is that they're delusional; i know you have a PMP certification and a job at a company whose only path to financial solvency is being bought by salesforce, relax

think i might go back to these overpriced internet glasses i bought because they made me feel good about the way my face looked even though they were insufficiently strong to withstand me getting my face upper-cut twice by my dog's big stupid head while we were roughhousing:

this is an insane thing to say but based on my non-scientific experimentation (being on dating apps in both cities) i would say I am a Philadelphia 7 but a Pittsburgh 3

had to ask a woman last night why she liked my profile after she sent like multiple messages telling me how much she loves making men's lives miserable. like i'm not going to say I don't understand the impulse but it was also a huge case of "bro you're scaring the hoes (me)"

i know an ohio town with an ominous/unorthodox name HATES to see a folk punk band coming

honestly probably more secure than my current position

pamphlet designed in corporate memphis except all the blobby little humanoids are teaching you how to make the pellet gun that cooked shinzo abe

then i need to tell you about a beautiful city on the confluence of three rivers in eastern PA where this very thing is not just possible, but celebrated...