Oh god now DJ Jo is playing some shitty instrumental version of a U2 song that we all know but no one cares about #ttrtpt #notatsplore #ugh

As much as I like Tom Waits, mum, I don't believe he is good road trip music & wish that you would stop lighting up & growling at me #djjo

Now we're listening the the Loop:OE Brazil mix and mum is singing along like she's fluent in Portuguese omfg #rude #butcherthelanguage

NOOOOO now DJ Jo is playing Ruby by the fkkn Kaiser Chiefs #haventheardthatonebefore #roadtripofhell #DJjo #fuckyoukaiserchiefs

Dad: is there any chance we could listen to a whole album - wait, a whole song? Mum: (shocked) this is my only chance to be driver DJ gosh

The road trip got too much for us all. Beer time with Driver Des and DJ Jo #thankyoupanhead #qualitywhanautime

Des: Ruby, I've got Michael Jackson disease *shows his ageing splotchy white hands* I'm going white! Mum: Ah Des, you are white #classicJo

Des Wilson: hooning nice $40 bottles of wine in 2c plastic cups since aaaaaages ago #classicdes #roadtrip #atthewake

Des: Ruby, where's your mother? Me: shrug Des: well, she's lost out on her wine *pours entire bottle into his glass and trots away laughing*

FUUUUCK psycho Driver Des and his psycho mates have found the kindling and are looking for petrol to start the fire #sos #classicpsychos

EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE OMG SOS #classicdes #DJjo

iPod has died on WEL-AKL solo road trip. Am considering listening to that U2 album that was forced into my phone #situationdire #bleak #SOS

This bleak as silent road trip is killing me. I'm gonna try out the U2 #takingtheplunge #trytoseethepositive #undeniablybleak #ttrtpt

I REGRET THIS IMMEDIATELY

WHAT THE FUCK BONO?!

Dw guys I went and spent a thousand dollars on a stupid cable at BP so the world is good again and I can stop crying #sorryU2 #butitsnitok

Thank you Jezebel for this write-up on my blowjob piece. Tracy Moore GETS IT bit.ly/1xJik4D

@JAHRAger oh man, dat song. Actually, that whole album 👌

AUDIENCE TIP: Buy tickets online and in advance. Saves comedians grey hairs and existential crises.

Paid Parental Leave bill delayed because Govt was extending drinking laws for fucking Rugby New Zealand you are a total embarrassment