DOCTOR: It says here you took 3 years off to "soak in tub" ? ME: (pleasantly) Yes, due to my agonies.

your early 20s are about seeing this same tweet from every popular twitter account over and over until you die

Respect.

Unfortunately, due to circumstances outside of my control* i will not be doing my skincare routine tonight. thank you for understanding! *my depression

millenials are all depressed because the original zoo tycoon hasn’t been compatible with our devices for like a decade

let pumpkin skate !

Harvest my organs for RBG.

i’m the dumbest b!tch i know for rewatching the last 5 minutes of Derry Girls s1 finale over and over again at work

instagram ads .... i love them. they know me so well. a nike commercial with ilana glazer? thank u algorithm it’s perfect 😢

like building a fantasy football team but it’s me building my dream friend group out of the girls i meet at the dog park

Proficient in Excel ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ’ᵗ ᵃˢᵏ ᵐᵉ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵖᶦᵛᵒᵗ ᵗᵃᵇˡᵉˢ

when i say i would risk it ALL

sucks for the social media manager (me) who said “have a good tuesday” on the corporate account when it was, in fact, wednesday. people everywhere are calling it tuesdaygate

my favorite part about Halloween is honoring the veterans! ❤️

just watched Booksmart for the first time. don’t text.

Boyfriends can have a little of your fancy face wash, as a treat