cop correctly identified me as 6”1 on his report 🥱

really though higher education was gonna involve more smoking

what do you do if you have been locked on a roof for an hour an a half

got sopranos playing, automated tiktok swiping, a coffee and chat gpt it’s time to write an email

i wanna be santa so bad

Like & Retweet if you survived the #earthquake #NYC

Check out my walk on Strava. strava.app.link/MM7izo998Lb

می‌دانم که اوضاع الان تیره به نظر می‌رسد، انگار که یک بمب هسته‌ای به ما خورده، ولی ما مثل Grimace از خاکستر برمی‌خیزیم و به مبارزه ادامه می‌دهیم! لطفاً Believe به Mets داشته باشید و Grimace ما را به سوی پیروزی هدایت خواهد کرد! #InshallahLindor 🙏

I’m running out of costumes to fool poll workers but happy to say I voted for Biden 142 times bc I fw his energy more

Morning

Feeling infinite #lirr

I don’t listen to music but I can’t help getting up off the zoom call and shaking some ass with when someone is idling outside my apartment playing drake

Just finished my second chapter book this year and Deloitte still won’t hire me

I wanna black out in china

Pleased to announce I have accepted a role as the intimacy coordinator with ur mom

The concept of a large salary is intriguing

It’s better to read a strangers phone over their shoulder than to talk to them

NEW YORK CITY, YOU LISTEN TO ME. IF YOU'RE NEAR A CONVENIENCE STORE RIGHT NOW, ANY TYPE OF 24-HOUR STORE, GO INTO THE STORE RIGHT NOW AND PUT YOUR HAND IN THE CASH REGISTER FOR NO REASON!!!!

Some people think they’re the egg but they really just a chicken

Some people think they’re the chicken but they’re just the egg