For “hate the West”, read “respect international law”. Don’t you have a lettuce to attend to?

Having not been lobotomised, probably not. #Flagshaggers

What? It’s real?! Not Viz or Private Eye? #PseudsCorner

Surely typing “hello, I’m mental” would have been quicker?

When you order your pretend “red boxes” from Wish and get them to do the lettering. Amateur hour. Which seems appropriate. #ReformUK

It’s well known that Sadiq Khan sets the price of all alcohol in London. Damn you Khan! #FFS #Idiots #Flagshaggers

“Who says Matt lost…” Er, the Returning Officer. The number of votes he received. And reality. #ReformUK #Flagshaggers

ant middleton is what happens when a protein shake becomes sentient and starts giving life advice

I once saw Billy Joel in B&Q buying fire lighters. The lying bastard.

Happy Breakfast Club Day to all who celebrate. #TheBreakfastClub #DontYouForgetAboutMe

“Good and productive talks with Iran” 😎

Yeah, why the hell should people who don’t look like you be allowed to vote. Scandalous. Or perhaps you’re a massive racist? Just putting it out there.

Goodbye and sleep well to the cheese grater. It’s been on borrowed time since the Mac Studio started taking its lunch money. #MacPro #Apple #RIP

Surely writing “hello, I’m a massive racist” would be so much easier.

Dear Vice President JD Vance Based on your “reverse Midas touch” please can you come to the UK and endorse/promote Reform UK ? Thanks.

In other news, I broke something and demand others fix it for me. The MAGA mind is a confusing place. #MAGA #TACO

If only the Minister of State for Crime, Policing and Fire from October 2022 until July 2024 had cared about it previously eh! Oh wait, that was you Chris Philp MP you hypocritical little git. #ToryHypocrites

Well I don’t think an attempted assassination is very “pro” Trump is it? Great work as always Guardian subs.

Campaigned for Brexit, then pretends to not understand that shockingly the EU does nice things for those planning to join - as opposed to those who left. Unsure whether he’s stupid or just disingenuous. 🤔 #BrexitBenefits