To all the @gamers employees that just got mobbed with #CFB25 pre order pick ups… we salute you 🫡

If a crackhead hasn’t ever asked you if you want to buy a diamond ring then you not living life fully.

The fact they NSync & Backstreet Boys never had a single knife fight still annoys me.

Don’t approach me asking for spare change. Approach me and ask for snack money. A dime has never changed my circumstance but I know what it’s like to ‘just need a snack’ real real bad.

As a member of the biracial delegation I have to let me fellow black people know. My fellow white people are onto something with the heavy edible use and country music combo.

I can’t stop I’m Dough Boy mixed with the Cheddar. I won’t stop. Dick shot. Stomach punch for that leather. Rhyme Dailey.

If you ever see a cat in the strip club parking lot then you’re in the right place. Enjoy that lap dance buddy.

2024: Does anyone know if she makes VR content?

I really be tryin to write jokes and entertain y’all but it’s too much titties on this app. This is praise. Not a complaint.

You ever heard somebody sneeze from the privacy of their own house? Some of the most violent shit ever.

You nasty for pulling it apart like that.

I know I’m a degenerate cuz when Fat Bottomed Girls comes on in the cafeteria at my Uber professional job I sing a little bit of the chorus.

You: Heard your cashapp ding. Me: Patiently waiting to hear what a good boy I’ve been lately.

Some of y’all wouldn’t recognize the comedic spirit even if it came on your face.

At this point I don’t know if I’m doing comedy to sell merch or selling merch to do comedy.

I be tryin to make jokes on here but there’s so much tittie meat. I get distr..

The amount of stab wound strippers and cocaine that’s about to get tossed into the ocean is going to be unreal.

Kinda rude there’s no place I can get a quick lap dance before work in the morning.

Spanish McGregor #UFC308

A cold bowl of cereal is the certification stamp on a great night.