you know what they got me

Tom Brady was so good that growing up I used to kneel next to my bed and pray that the Patriot’s plane would explode

Where are Harry potter’s grandparents

Relapsed and devoured this entire block of goat cheese on the walk home. Fuck my life.

started playing stardew valley with my girlfriend cause i thought it would be a cute thing for us to do together but it turns out she has over 400 hours logged and is running our farm like the navy

Sitting in first class I got the middle seat Asked the guy next to me how he got rich He pointed at the small can of Coca-Cola on his tray He’s the CEO of Coke Amazing Asked the other guy how he got rich He gestured to the airplane He’s the CEO of Boeing Wow Then

Many of you:

Asking for a cigarette then adding it to my own pack

The extended cut

Hey chilli some random Tik tok account is stealing your intros and posting them

I had an AI boyfriend once too, his name was Clippy and he was murdered.

Giving the air fryer basket a little shake

Me: do you love me? *400,000 gallons of drinking water are converted into an infinitely dense toxic black sludge that is excreted out from the effluent pipe on a Nevada server farm* ChatGPT: Yes -- Im wife . Not only that, mmm but lnnb , largge Wife Me: oh my God it's human

Federal agent assaulted by sandwich admitted to Mayo Clinic

If you fall in love with an AI boyfriend/ girlfriend you should be sent to work in the mines

Great. Son just handed me some more childslop.