[waking up in my five bedroom knightsbridge townhouse, brewing a nice pot of coffee, booting up my computer and tapping out today's column]: i want the world to be plunged into total war once more. i want food shortages and mechanised death. i want a bomb to fall on my head

DPD driver came into my apartment building, apparently got to my door, took a PHOTOGRAPH but then...didn't deliver the parcel. It's now off to a 'locker' where I have zero doubt it will be nicked. Great work all involved!

babe wake up le creuset 2025 color guide just dropped

I love coming on here to see Labour promising benefits crackdowns, and then going to my aunt's Facebook page to find out Starmer and all his MPs are actually communists

The YouTube comments of every classic rock song are flooded with existential crises and emotional epitaphs that will bring you to tears

Veganuary: fine, makes sense Dry January: if you are participating in this and finding it extremely difficult you already have a problem with alcohol and should stop fully, if it you experience it as a mild irritation why are you doing this to yourself? Makes NO sense either way

Leaned a little too hard into the Melancholy Of Being and now I've got to go OUT

Write every day for 1 hour. If you miss a writing day add 1 hour to the next. It’s incredible! Tomorrow I’m writing for 7 years.

Blue Labour is one of many toxic manifestations of the reduction of political theory to psychology or conservative anthropology, leading to the conclusion that people adopt 'authoritarian' politics because of an unchangeable personal or cultural disposition (1/2).

It’s the Final Boss of ‘Starmer’s Britain’ stories

I have never regretted not voting for them in 2024, not once

Around a million people will lose maybe £5,000 a year from these 'reforms'. The gainers will receive a pittance. This was not in Labour's manifesto. It is not the change people voted for. It is immoral.

People like Sammy here would rather spend all day moaning about disabled people getting a meagre payment towards a vehicle than getting on his bike and looking for the work that would enable him to afford lease a car too. The politics of envy!

Labour’s offer for the youth is this: getting your leg blown off in a Ukrainian trench then when you’re home limping about being told you don’t actually qualify for PIP because you can still microwave a bowl of soup

we need a word for the delusion that you would have been elite bc you're white, ignoring that elite status in the past was a small subsection of white anglo-saxon protestants who had generational wealth

Five years to the day that I became erroneously convinced I'd given myself a subdural hematoma because I scratched my head too vigorously after a shower, in retrospect a COVID lockdown isolation warning sign I ignored

Sure sex is great but have you ever posited a connection between two seemingly unrelated cultural phenomena

Me to my AI-enabled smart fridge in 2038: Do we have any milk left My fridge: Wow. Now that's a question worth exploring. By asking me something like that, you've proven that you're not thinking in ordinary ways—you're dialed in to what's really vital about food. Let's dive in.

When he hits you with a FTL, you know some serious managed decline is on its way.

Average age of 48