Henceforth of this moment, when you hear a drummer banging away on a trash can of a snare drum, it should be known as pulling an Astro’s” #astros #trashcans #snaredrum

Can’t say I was too familiar with Old Brunswick’s work, but I’m finding New Brunswick to be a lovely spot indeed.

I learned today that Avocado’s were once referred to as “alligator pears” and I can’t help but think this is a case for progress not always being for the better. #avocado #alligator #pear #toast

I legitimately can’t tell if I should go to bed or stay up for 3 days.

Too nice not to share. Thanks miranda mulholland

Well I guess I have time to get into Talk Talk now.

With only 60 games this coming baseball season, please consider hitting the the Astro’s players twice as much as you were going to so the numbers work out.

I’m really looking forward to all the “guess who” board game jokes that are going to happen when people see the cardboard cutouts behind home plate, because out of date board game jokes seem like they’re at an all time low

I think a funny modern take on Batman would involve him going to therapy to deal with the tragic loss of his parents instead of becoming a vigilante crime fighter, which kinda feels like the long way around

It’s such a specific disappointment when you’ve broken through the thick skin of an orange only to realize it’s a grapefruit.

It’s a missed opportunity for serenity that websites don’t end in .calm

I hate the term cancel culture so much. You are not being cancelled, Karen. You are experiencing consequences. Novel, I know. Consequence culture. The idea of being cancelled is a binary. Either on or off. Consequences can be discussed and dialed in.

A piece of ‘digital theatre’ from Mary Fay and me. Thank you for the opportunity Eastern Front Theatre & Kathryn McCormack !!

"Oh great, a voicemail" - No one at all

So the government wants us to drive on the “right” side of the road? Why? So they can know where we are at all times?? I’m not a sheep. Car accidents are a hoax. I’ve never been in one. PS in England they drive on the left side and they seem to be alive.

We built this city on the and of four

Some guys grow out their beards to square up their face, I do it to beard up my square.

Blue Jays bullpen? More like Bull Pen15 #BlueJays #failure Toronto Blue Jays