To use the old Hollywood saw, No one knows anything. But a tapped-in player agent just texted me, “Have heard MBS wants to use the war as Force Majeure to pull the plug.”

I don't worry about Tax Day. I'm a sovereign citizen, T.

It’s a birthday party for Donald Trump. Call it what it is.

LIV will forever be a stain on the history of golf. Please go now, Saudi royals, and take your blood money with you.

BREAKING: PGA Tour announces welcome back party for LIV players tonight on the 9th green at 9pm. Players have also been advised to dress nice for the occasion.

Of course

LIV looks like it’s going to shut down and Rory went back-to-back at The Masters. Shooter would like to congratulate the Irishman on having the best month of his life.

Jayson Tatum has a compelling “Extraordinary Circumstances Challenge.” He wanted to play more games but was recovering from a torn Achilles. He did play in 16 of Boston’s final 20 games. That’s 80 percent.

Thanks for your concern, Congresswoman OTPHJ during Beetlejuice the Musical.

5D Chess: It’s a $55 billion war just to go back to the Barack Obama deal. Wait. Pay 21x more than Obama did. Same deal.

EXCLUSIVE The Atlantic On multiple occasions Patel’s security detail had difficulty waking him because he was seemingly intoxicated, according to info supplied to DOJ and White House officials. A request for “breaching equipment”was made because Patel had been unreachable behind

Kash Patel was never fit to serve as FBI Director. He needs to resign. Now.

Nice to see that Spiderkash isn’t too hungover to remember his Twitter password

Amazon, which saved $4B in taxes under Trump's Big Ugly Bill, has cut 30,000 jobs since last October. Verizon, which saved $2B, plans to cut 15,000 jobs this year. Meta, which saved $3B, plans to lay off 20% or more of its workforce. Trickle-down economics is a cruel joke.

So we're calling these guys the "Liquor Cabinet"?

Statement from The Atlantic:

New Rory book by Alan Shipnuck is great. It's not hagiography, but it's also not a teardown. Very interesting read about a very interesting superstar.

Game 2

Oh no! We seem to have lost Jeffrey Epstein's lawyer. How will the party recover from this?

Social media companies really need to find a way to get AI slop off of timelines and feeds.