Fook me mate, not surprised that this little curry-smellin coont Ditterbitter white knighted this pink-haired slapper. Call me fat again mate I fookin dare ya, I’ll flatten you next time I see you at Runefest (and norf revs)

Fookin hell, if this ain’t the truth

Feels good to take the fokin socks off after a big 14 hour norf cave session. Washing machine is on overdrive at the moment. 12 pairs of socks and 12 Gymshark outfits. Me bollocks were stuck to me thighs after this sesh. Bloody good to let them breave now. Cheers

Fook me mate, the ladies call me ‘big tasty’ as well. Not sure why though, usually a bit sweaty after a big sesh souf revs killing pures in me new series. Guess the sweat kind of marinates the Johnson a bit. Bosh

Hey mate Mastythegee, if you want to make a collab video let me know. Going to be travelling round England later this year mate, we can get some proper scran at Gregg’s and head out to Bounce by the Ounce. Let me know bruv. Cheers

Bruv, carnt believe you’ve dun my boy Westham like this. Expect a massive shit in your mailbox soon mate. You’re gonna need a hazmat suit and a team of three trained sterilisation specialists to remove the bomb I’m going to drop in there. Curry and chips will do the trick. Bosh

Apologies for my hiatus on the twit. Was busy eating Froidy noight Chinese with Big John. Also had Mondy, Tuesdy and Wednesdy noight Chinese. Didn’t have it on Thursday though, had no less than 40 wicked wings from KFC. Arse is now red raw, but fookin worth it. Bosh

Honestly, I can’t fookin wait for runefest. Hope it pulls through. Going to try and bag a few chubby lengers with sweaty chebs. Lovely that. If they think my voidwaker can hit hard, they can wait until they feel the force behind a 20 stone norf cave bouncer. Bosh

I’ll tell ya what lads, at Runefest, we should do an IRL run-in just like the old days in Brap. Not sure what team ditta bitta was in, but fook me mate, I’d absolutely flatten the little brown beetle. Little coont is disrespectful and also quite smelly. Not ideal. Bosh

Alright lads, this is what I’ve been saying. That little fokin slimeball Ditterbitter talks the most shite, but carries a stench with him that only Ganesh could forgive. Absolutely filthy that. In dire need of a shower. Will tell ya that the lengers prefer mass over stench. Bosh

What a fookin tourney lads, absolute madness. Congrats to the Dino Niggets, the boy Westham put in work. Bad luck to Ditterbitter though, the smelly fook. No amount of Lynx Pakistan could save him. Anyway, here’s me desk. All the Diet Coke offset the Choinese I ate. Bosh

Had some sundy noight Choinese. Think the sweet and sour chicken balls were bad. Absolutely churning me belly. Have pissed out me arse 3 times already. Sore shoulder from wiping. Think I have some hemorrhoids too. Bit of blood on the paper. Sore shoulder and sore arse. Not happy

Absolute madness. Had the filthiest kebab of me life. Pissin out me arse for hours. Still not feeling too sound. Been 3 days since I’ve played OSRS. Had a dream that I smacked that little smelly fook ditter for max as well. Crazy that. Lamb Rogan Bosh for dinner when I’m better.

Bruv, I’d absolutely suckle on those plump chebs and drain all the choccy milk inside. Anyway lad, you should see me after some Froidy noight Choinese. Sweet & sour pork, honey chicken, satay chicken, chow mein, chips and curry sauce. Looked in the mirror and thought I saw Santa.

Heard about a fookin rollback and dupe glitch. Not too sure what all that fookery is, but I know for sure that Gregg’s better give me a sossage roll back after my last one (was pissen out me arse), and maybe even dupe it while they’re at it. Magine if I could dupe kfc too. Bosh

I’ll be honest lad, I’ve packed on a few stone since last Runefest. But fook me mate, you are pushing some serious mass here. Gymshark might offer you an ambassador position for their new ‘Bloat’ range. Use code ‘LargeAndNotInCharge10’ at checkout. Cheers

Went out for a meal with a friend on Saturday and it gave me bad food poisoning. Spent all Sunday vomiting and bed ridden. Sucks this happened when I tried to have solid consistency before runefest but, shit happens. Should be back tomorrow. Squeeze out a few more streams 💛

Finally quashed the beef and met Ditterbitter. Not gonna lie though mate, Purpp did say he stank like the arse end of a skunk. He was spot on with that. Could do with a cleanse, or even a shower in a can (deodorant). All good though. You’re alright too Torvesta. Cheers

Fook me mate, fair play. I try to have solid consistency with me shits too but most the time they’re liquid. Must be all the Gregg’s sossage rolls and zinger burgers. Not too sure. Cheers

Fook me. I know a fokin rat when I see one (or smell one). That smelly little rodent Ditter has undoubtedly been sniping in all stars. No fookin way would he be showing his cat an Oda stream. I’d show his mum’s cat a stream of my gravy though, lad. Liam ban this rat, cheers