fine. you win this round

Hi Twitter, I just posted a new full standup set, let me know what you think? youtube.com/watch?v=rrj7_X…

Watch Rebecca! She's funny!

a 27-year-old making fun of another woman for being 30 is peak short-sightedness

traveling in 2025 is like got my bag packed ✅ got my passport ✅ updated my last will & testament ✅

Not my ex finding out I was the only person liking his tweets

So if you care to find Mars...

We need to find a middle ground here

It drives me crazy when people say "you don't play video games because you're a girl." No, I don't play video games because they're too much fun and I can't handle it

Can’t believe we’re living in a timeline where our government has less security than the average kink party in Brooklyn

See the comedian people are calling "Taylor Tomlinson if she let her intrusive thoughts win"

Kind of ironic that real id goes into effect for our safety right as they’re slashing the FAA

the weird thing about looking kind of average is fewer men harass you but when they do it's *way* weirder

I hate spam calls. Sci-fi authors never could have predicted that in the future we'd talk to robots every day, but it'd be hella boring

The answer is A & C??? Screw you planner, you don’t know my life!

I met someone who said “Oh my God, you have a podcast?? That’s so cool. I’ve never met anyone who has a podcast before.” I would give anything to be that innocent

Hi Jackie Herman I had you for earth science at Bay, you were one of my favorite teachers ever!! I don’t know if you still use this account but if you do, hi!

If you’ve ever been to a comedy show and thought, “wow I could never do that” thank you for your service you are a martyr