About to get this thing started!

It's not the size that matters, it's the......no wait, it's the size that matters.

Tweeting is like golf; you can write crap all day but when someone says, “I love your tweets,” you’re ready to play another round.

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he's going to get a piece. A woman already knows.

"Establishing credit" should be called "Establishing debt"

Welcome to America. You are free to do as we tell you.

I sell guns to children on the playground...but I take Jesus as my savior, so that makes it all ok.

You're like a squirrel... quick to get a nut.

I still dont understand the point of the "lap dance". If any strippers out there want to help me figure it out, I'd really appreciate it.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away...unless you forget to use a condom.

I am as drunk as a one-legged circus midget

Watch Phoenix Marie's latest video at #NaughtyAmerica - bit.ly/qaXi3M

Have a boring sex life? She will change all that: bit.ly/tUi0Lz

This curvy Latina jumps at the chance for some cock: bit.ly/tUTVPJ

This little girl is single and ready to mingle: bit.ly/urIE5w

This hot Asian girl is fucking her way up the corporate ladder bit.ly/vkEpVw