A manual clothes ringer? What I am, a peasant? My clothes ringer is semi-automatic (I live in california)

Mort Porker

Lol

You can just overlay it on the existing US rail system, they built those too

That's not wha- you know what who fucking cares anymore

Why would you bind this 🤣🤣

American baker's will stop working because the wrong people fell in love

Exposing the comfy blanket hoax - In the last decade I've only been cold 13 times - It's a blankie that can be used any time. Yet people use a blanket every night. - The risk is that 1 in 154 million will get cold without a blanket Another Big Comforter scam!

Sam Harris is the "guy who's only seen The Boss Baby" of atheism

Alcoholic: "drinks tonight?" Stress eater: "gosh that was a stressful day, should we get ice cream?" Brainiac: "I should really stay in and study..." Guy who follows the Bob's Burger's account on Instagram: "We should k*ll every Muslim in new York City"

Types of holes in castle walls and what they are for

I can only imagine explaining to my wife that actually I had to kiss the beautiful actress lovingly and tenderly so they could animate better it for the video game

Shit looks the same. Just go take a picture now

Buddhist priest stuck in samsara (logic error causing an infinite script loop)

Me reading pynchon

I like to rank movies by how good they are to jerk off to

She's clearly doing one of these moves