A 93 year old would probably beat me in a marathon that’s a fact I just have to live with

Yk the patriarchy is still alive and well when the women’s champion league quarter final is playing but instead the sports bar is playing a random fucking u20 boys game

You ever listen to a song and it sound like what Michelin level food taste like

Lmfao when instead of “??” I accidentally write “bb”

Just found out that up until today my ex was still a favourite in my father’s contacts on his phone! :-)

Coughing when there’s nothing to cough about 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Two people on a scooter is extremely romantic

Only I would get on an 8 hour train without a single snack, why? Because I wasn’t hungry when I thought that maybe I should pack some food

I’d rather take a 10000 hour train than a 5 min plane

Not sure I’m gonna sleep tonight because I’m so excited about tomorrow morning’s golf

Things that are just unacceptable: announcing that you will be late AFTER the time you agreed to meet passes

Just got scouted to play pool professionally so dont tell me im not making money moves

I just know that if u got rear ended by someone and got rly angry it would give me just the fattest ick

Just learned that the highest divorce rates are between two women. Ok purr

“Bla bla hallelujah” , idk get a personality

I need a fetty wap tiny desk and also a post Malone tiny desk immediately

I’ll be annoyed that there’s rumors going round of me and my colleague dating but then I will go play a round of golf with him and my father so yk what maybe I’ll just choose my battles

Nobody plays the waiting game like I do

Cycling on a lime bike with a helmet? Hot