Private tweet. Do not read this.

I was gonna make a funny tweet but I forgot. Can I loan out some likes anyway?

People with fake check marks are very sad

Saw a homeless guy vaccinate himself in the parking lot tonight. Very responsible!

Guys, please stop liking my last tweet. I haven’t slept in a week. Please let me go.

Should I go to Montys or go to Montys!???

Are snails considered slugs if they become homeless?

Your mom is a nice lady

Any car sticker is an abomination

BTS suck and they smell like pickles. Don’t @ me.

Biscuits are way overrated

Mint chocolate can go die in a volcano

If you didn’t know, Breaking Bad is by far the single best show to have ever been made by any metric and measurement

Your wind chimes suck

#promenadefire Camarillo