Whenever I have children, I’m going to name one “Willie” and the other “Nelson” just for the fuck of it

just booked a ticket to NY and i think my friend is taking me to the hamptons to live out my WILDEST gossip girl dream as the brokest bitch you've EVER seen

The more I cruise the internet, the more I realize how sincerely stupid people are. What a sad ass time to be alive.

I chatted with a 50 something year old woman from Syracuse today and said “Do you drive stick? You look like you can drive stick!” and all I’m thinking now is WHAT in the EVER LOVING fuck does that even mean??!

🌎 #GlobalTunes I🇨🇦I Rahael presenta el sencillo «Clayton». Más info 👇 rmas.mx/2022/06/09/rah…

I wonder what Clarence Thomas will do when America decides that Blacks no longer have rights cause LEMME TELL YA, that ain’t too far off

having slippery fingers and drunk texting your significant other at the near age of 30 DOES NOT in fact get less embarrassing and annoying, INCASE ANYONE WAS WONDERING

Tonight on The Block: Fresh new tracks from Azalyne, Baha Royalty, Rahael, Tina Leon and more. 7-9pm with @MsAngelineTW on CBC Music Listen live or on demand: cbcmusic.ca/theblock

my father just told me to “relax” over the phone and my response was “I’M RELAXED. i’m relaxed. i’m eating quinoa”…. wtfh does that mean

CdnRts 10pmE Mon 24/10🆕🎶 Alex Cuba Julian Taylor #Basset Dave Gunning #TrentFreeman @Strange1Valenti 👏🏻💐 Madison Violet 3x #CFMA noms! + Maggie’s Wake The Goddamsels Rahael Sophian Alkurdi Mike Legere TuneIn erinradio.org Listen Live!

🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

been binging yellowstone all week and wearing my cowboy boots hoping i’ll wake up a real cowboy

“thank you sir. may you win the lottery just after i do” - man replying to bus driver after being given directions

there’s nothing like waking up and having pork chops for breakfast

i was so hungover today that I’ve decided to slowly switch to a plant based diet

never get a parking ticket on your parents car. they’ll never forget

there’s a soundtrack for being physically exhausted while sipping a mcdonalds dbl dbl, waiting to get your upper lip threaded and it’s strawberry wine by Deana Carter. HELLO FRIDAY

i’ll never forget the day i saw an armadillo in the wild with my own two eyes. that was the moment my 4th grade project came to life

my father is currently in ethiopia and my mother is now sending my dad “you up?” texts to chit chat. everything truly does come full circle

there is nothing that says “i’m ready for my 40s” like a nice dark lip liner