So last night I forgot to change the big wall clock in the dogs room and this morning they woke us up an hour earlier than they're supposed to. #ClocksBack

Last night I left the landing light on and this morning there was a drone on the stairs. #DroneGate

Brilliant as always. Frankie Boyle’s review of 2018: 'Let's forget Brexit and enjoy our last Christmas with running water' theguardian.com/politics/2018/…

Just wow.

Theresa May trying to get her deal through Parliament

A California beach was taken over by elephant seals during the government shutdown. Humans won’t be allowed back until the pups have left home and the seals leave.

A zoo in Texas has introduced a rather different Valentine's package this year. For a small fee, they will name a cockroach after your ex and feed it to a meerkat.

Brilliant.

So we have a comedian in the Ukraine as well as the US. Don't look good for the UK.

Alexa, show me an example of why dogs are the most precious things that we utterly don’t deserve. x.com/keally22/statu…

Oops...

😂

Anybody know how to disable the LET GOOGLE MAPS TAKE THE PISS option in the Navigation Settings?

"Try PASSWORD"

One weighs 18,000 tonnes, can cause huge destruction & is full of seamen. The other is a submarine

While at work yesterday my mother-in-law who's staying with us hung some washing out wearing only her underwear and forgot we have cameras and now I can't unsee it.

Asked how long toilet paper supplies will last post-Brexit, minister Simon Hart said they will "prioritise the flow of goods at the border while continuing to take a risk-based approach to checks on goods to minimise additional friction." Aye, friction, that's why he was asked.

I have questions.

Had my jab a couple of days ago which means in a weeks time I'll have full protection and Bill Gates will know exactly where I am