texting feels impersonal so i handwrite messages & then take polaroids of them & then send the polaroids by a carrier pigeon named bartleby

my appeal is immediately apparent yet impossible to describe in anything but the most vague and banal terms

@ErpulevRus no thank you! but i do agree that adoption is the way to go

i can’t believe you never noticed all the everyday beauty in our world! like this leaf! and this graffiti! and this piece of dog poop

kiss me like you mean it. hold me like you won't let go. narrate about me like i am a puzzle to be solved, a trophy to be won

i’m like a human breathstrip: i freshen things up for you and then melt away forever

don’t take time to smell the roses—roses are such a conventional symbol of love and beauty. take time to smell the dandelions ;)

don't ask me if i play the ukulele. why would you ask me if i play the ukulele? look in your heart. you know you know the answer.

who needs antidepressants when you have women who collect turtle-themed knickknacks and aren't constrained by social norms

i’m the kind of person who wouldn’t have facebook but i have to have facebook bc otherwise you can’t gaze wistfully at my profile picture

i've never told anyone this before, but i've told people "i've never told anyone this before" soooooooo many times before

i’m the only one who’s not intimidated by your vast intellect and awkward demeanor and heavy sighs

@save_the_beees i won't deny it

of course this quarry/home depot/stranger's funeral isn't conventionally romantic! that's why we have to kiss here, to prove we're unique

emotionally stunted and distant? i think you're mispronouncing "quirky and mysterious"

"i'm not some stereotype," i tell you, conveniently overlooking the fact that 'girl who rejects stereotypes' is very much a stereotype

look, i’m not perfect, ok? i’ve got flaws. like smoking cigarettes, and having low self-esteem, and lacking any depth or specificity

i don't believe in the institution of marriage but i do believe in the institution of sneaking into weddings to dance and eat free cake

i don't do tinder—i like to meet naturally, which is why i bump into everyone i pass and graze their hand as we pick up the novels i drop

i never believed in love but...i think.......i love...................listening to your stories about your dad