“Happiness is a direction, not a place.” Yeah, she was certainly right. The corner of my mouth lifts in a smile, thinking about how smart that kid always was.

“She was too young. She should be happy and excited without a care in the world, and I hated that she was wasting even one minute of her time thinking I was going to be worth missing.”

“Uh, how old are you now?” he asks. “Twenty-ish?” “Twenty-one.” “In college then?” he presses. I open my mouth, but then Madoc is there, with his arm around me.

Lucas has taken out pepperoni, American cheese, bay leaves and…ketchup. Ketchup? “Oh, my God.” I groan. “Just let me do it.” “Works every time.” I hear him gloat as he walks away. “And hurry up, I’m hungry.” I roll my eyes, but I can’t help but indulge in a little smile.

“If you don’t mind my asking . . . if you’re homesick, why don’t you just go home?” I drop my eyes, remaining silent. I’m not sure how to answer that, but it’s a good question. Can I go home? Of course. Anytime I want. So why wasn’t I budging? “Someday,” I whisper.

I also hate how I felt everything Kat was feeling. The uncertainty, the fear, the desire to stay with what’s familiar even if you’re miserable . . . the powerlessness. I can relate. “She’s so weak,” I finally admit, noticing the hint of self-hate in my voice.

“I realized that they fucked up just as much as I had. The only difference was they were fighters. They refused to fail. I crossed my arms over my chest, balling my fists and hardening my jaw. Where had my fight gone? Did I even fucking care anymore?”

“Lucas!” I heard a yell behind me. I spun around just in time to see Quinn dig in her backpack and pull out something small. Rushing over to me, she handed me the circular metal case. “Now you have to come back.” She smiled.

“Making her mad at me wasn’t something I enjoyed—especially when I couldn’t explain to her why I needed to leave—but I had to admit, she was the only one who made me second-guess leaving. The only one who made me feel like I needed to stay.”

“I needed to get out of here. I was lying to her. I was lying to everyone. I had no intention of returning, even for the baseball cap. I just didn’t want her to hate me. She was the only person who still thought I was something.”

“She was thirteen, and I gave her the hat to ease the guilt, but then she traded me the compass to make sure l'd return someday. The weight of it sits against my thigh inside my pocket.”

“Unfortunately, l'd lied to Lance. I had been looking. Before I knew who she was and saw her running around the track. And I'd really liked looking.”

"So what is she....?" my friend, Lance, whistled behind me as I watched Madoc drive off with Quinn in the passenger seat of his car. "Ten years younger than you?" "I wasn't looking," I told him. He just laughed and moved to his car at the curb. "She was."

"Are you mad at me?" I ask. I grin a little, teasing, but her wide eyes just gaze up. Not really hurt or challenging, but...she doesn't answer me, either.

“I stare at the shop, seeing a glimpse of her again in the kitchen. She wasn't looking at me. At least not like that. I was just important to her once.”

“Something swam in my chest watching Jared and Jax barreling after them, all three like a fucking convoy was necessary to make sure their sister got home.”

“What does he know? He doesn't know me anymore. I don't realize that my eyes are filled with tears until one spills over. I swipe it away. Why did he leave for so long if I was important to him?”

"Boys get to have all the fun, don't they?" I challenge. A small smile finally curls his lips as he picks a little flower out of the vase on one of my tables. "I think Ava had fun." Prick.

"I'm going to fall in love with someone here," I tell him. "It won't be one of them." “Like you had plans to marry Ava when you had sex with her,” I try to reason. "Why can't I-" "Because you matter more than she did!”

"I know you're ready to feel things. And it's normal." "How do you know I haven't already?" He cocks a brow. "Have you?" Amusement pulls at my mouth. "I'm twenty-one." He curls his fist, crushing the flower. I laugh to myself.