Pirates used to get tattoos with full blown syphillis after murdering like 4 French merchants and you bozos are worried about antibacterial soap

Sinead O’Connor was on another level. I just listened to “same as you said it would b” for the first time, ended up swimming a mile in the bay and cutting myself on like 30 barnacles

In any given southern doctor’s office waiting room you will hear ringtones so loud they would vaporize the average New Yorker

Bread and red wine is a hard ass combo I get what Jesus was putting down

The TikTok algorithm has the baddest bitches you’ve ever seen lip syncing the smiths rn the machine god works in mysterious ways and I am its acolyte

Raw heroism. Two thousand years ago this man would have been the leader of a band of horse raiders pillaging the Crimea. Modernity has probably reduced him to a welder or something, but the spirit of the Khaganate persists nonetheless

All deodorant is “travel size.” Not that big of an object in general frankly.

Hit the gas station delta 8 pen after work no shower

This is exactly how I would hang out with my Star Wars co-pilot. Wouldn’t be a 8 foot creature like Chewbacca. He’d be a 1 foot gremlin named Ootboop, and I would hold him.

How could you claim human nature is wicked when the first animal we domesticated is designed to love and be loved as much as possible

Me after telling my friends that you can just watch family guy and vape while you drive and nothing bad will happen.

Adderall will have you at work telling inanimate objects to kill themselves in front of clients

The quality of sweaters has declined so greatly in the last twenty years that I think it genuinely necessitates a national conversation

Weeping at the realization that my dream of apple bobbing while adorned with a bedsheet ghost costume will never be realized in this cynical age of “icks”

We didn’t make it special it is objectively special. It’s literally a vessel of divinity choosing you. Get off your phone

I be in the planet fitness off a geeb moaning loud as hell

I haven’t had a rational thought in at least a decade

Western anthropological essays: How white bodies in black spaces disrupt communitarian ontologies Eurasian anthropological essays: How we know that the modern Italian people owe their ethnic origins to the Korean Peninsula