Sometimes CVS doesn’t give a shit about when you pick up your prescription but other times they’re like IF U DONT COME RIGHT NOW WE WILL SET IT ON FIRE

!!!!!!

noticed you’re still mutuals with john jacob jingleheimer schmitt lmao. it’s fine i just wanted to lyk that his name is my name too.

I physically couldn't help it (sound on pls)

It’s part of my core identity

Uber charged me $30 for a canceled ride FORTY MINS BEFORE I SCHEDULED IT TO ARRIVE smh pls help Uber Support

Elton John killed the Queen because he found out that she didn’t actually knight him. Erin

Moms are addicted to knowing your flight info

Bringing back the old Twitter picture in honor of the legendary Maya

Who decided that all new hotel room bathrooms would have super flimsy, transparent/translucent, barely-there doors? Open concept has gone too far

PowerPoint is the Instagram of business and Excel is the Twitter of business

no babe i think it’s awesome that ur alarm wakes everyone up ecvept u

4 years ago I went vegan for a week

.Park City Mountain this is the worst mountain experience I’ve ever had. Long lines, no open terrain, terrible workers. I brought my 5 kids here… for what was supposed to be a fantastic week of family fun. The fun has not been had. #refund #terribletime

Hey Grok who was the most famous person to visit my profile? Doesn’t need to be a mutual, and don’t tag them here.

One of my moots is getting absolutely slaughtered in the non-precheck TSA line rn