Cost of the GOP Tax Scam for the rich:💰~$1.8-2.3 Trillion Cost of forgiving all student loans in America:💰~$1.5 Trillion Clearly where there’s a will, there’s a way. When people say that there isn’t “enough” to do these things, what they mean is they don’t *want* to do them.

Either I'm dumb or not Machiavellian enough, but it's been a day and I can't figure out the difference between loyalty and "honest loyalty."

infecting the ENTERPRISE?

A very confused, covfefe'ed up John McCain: "I'd like to know what the hell that thing is."

Great. Now I've gone and earwormed myself. That thing, that thing, that thing... #ComeyDay

TFW someone famous dies and you're like - Oh. Not 'cause you're not sad, but because you didn't realize they were still alive.

The best thing about #wwgotyourback is all the pics of weapons women happen to have laying around, NBD. The badassery keeps rippling.

That moment when your dad asks if you know who Ron Jeremy is. "Uh... yes, I do." *commence staredown*

There's a certain gesture I'd like to trademark now. wapo.st/2s3BT94?tid=ss…

Gah. I was all ready to text my mom my condolences. All those many mother/daughter road trip memories. x.com/aNASH_89/statu…

Translation: the FBI doesn't understand the definition of "terrorism." x.com/AP/status/8775…

TFW you text home from work but no one answers because -- Oh. Right. Summer vacation is still a thing.

*incomprehensible gibber-screaming* x.com/Nnedi/status/8…

I do not need to go look at #PrimeDay. I do not need to go look at PrimeDay. I do not -- ooo, ROOMBA!

This. x.com/jennyyangtv/st…

280 characters? Fuck that.

Net neutrality is being stolen from us in a fucked up, undemocratic heist. bit.ly/2z8RbfZ

In 2018, I hope you will channel your anger and energy into defeating those who voted to put their donors before hardworking middle-class families.

I have recently been informed that Bob Ross fandom is now a thing among the post-millenial folk. Apparently, the kids these days find watching Bob Ross relaxing. ... This revelation makes me feel simultaneously not-with-it-anymore and, worse, get-off-my-lawn-judgey.

Out of context from last night -- Me: "Yeah, I could, but that'd take a lot of self-discipline, and I don't know if I have enough on top of everything else." Him: "Well... Would you like me to discipline you?" #romance #beinghelpful #accidentalinnuendo