Mustard low key the best condiment in the game rn

...still waiting on Trump’s “very fine people on both sides” statement about all this. Any minute now I’m sure.

There were very fine viruses on both sides

Imagine trying to explain Chumlee to your great grandfather.

Corn Pop gotta be scared AF today

Damn, Screech gone to that big chameleon banquet in the sky.

Anyone want to fund a gritty R rated remake of 3 Ninjas? It’s in the “I just got high and thought of it” stage of development.

There’s another reality where the only thing that’s different is that Weird Al goes by the name Silly Nelson, right?

Definitely a missed opportunity to have said “welcome to Earth”

A fart is a wish a poop makes

Not enough talk about the Dallas mavericks’ (second?) mascot, Mavs Man. He’s part man part basketball. How? Why? Whyeeeeee?

A million retweets and I’ll say a curse word before Twitter shuts down.

The #Nevewinter mount giveaway is live! Enter now until midnight, Dec. 16 for a chance to win 1 of 25 Boots of Misty Step keys (all platforms). Head over to the D&D Beyond Advent Calendar and click on Day 12 to enter! 🐉📅 bit.ly/3Y5EGLL

I think the only people who use the word skit are the ones who use it “incorrectly” to refer to a sketch.

Laser George Floyd

My Wife: I'm cheating on you. Me: GROK is this true?

You can be a part of history whether you live in Dallas or not! Check out this live-streaming event THIS Sunday @... fb.me/GL6l0I7l

Did you know that Buddies! will be performing again at The Dallas Comedy House on 01/31/2014? It's sure to be bodacious.

Check out this video of me doing food news related "stand-up": youtu.be/S9ZibBtmses

@pammaysmcdonald @BratFrye Puesto Loco™ I couldn't possibly come up with any as funny and biting as you guys. Y'all do comedy?