You dont realise how many clothes you have, until you wash them.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.

I want you to have a candle-lit dinner and say those magical three words to you ………… “Pay The bill”

(-_-) x 1.3 Billion people = China

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. Lolz

I did in the bed. I did it on the couch. I did it in the car. Texting is such an obsession. :)

You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.

We are the WTF generation: Wikipedia, Twitter and Facebook.

They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a hurry?

That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.

We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up …….. after I finish laughing :)

There is no house more beautiful than the house you happily live in.

I never let my best friend do stupid things … alone.

How to make a woman go mmmmmmm all nite long? …………………….. with Duct Tape :)

I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough ;)

Dear math, Im not therapist so solve your own problems.

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.