The beers are starting to taste like I’m walking out the building with these bowling shoes on

Eu tenho de parar de usar azeite como se fosse rico

My lunch accidentally falling out of my masculine pocket at work

Me on my way to work, masculinely:

hey guys it's me mr gingles ⓘ 𝗢𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁

We’re getting drunk until it’s concerning if u wanna join

“Yes I feel fully recharged after a restful holiday”

Can I have a sip of your beverage I promise the disease is under control

🧍‍♂️

🙂

ever since i was a little kid i knew i wanted a cigarette

EIA BOY ALGUÉM TEM FOLHA DE TESTE DE LINHAS A MAIS ESQUECI ME

getting skipped 3 times while your rent is on the line

me when i accidentally lose the hat that prevents me from freaking the fuck out

Pessoal da minha idade ou está a ter filhos, ou está para casar, ou então está a candidatar-se para a junta de freguesia da terrinha